Lieber Daniel: Briefe an meinen Sohn (German Edition)

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You feel exultant in the freedom. Answerable to nobody and nothing except the muse. In touch and in tune with myriad pasts. You view these at leisure, lingeringly. Sometimes you go through them again in a very familiar fashion and other times all you have to do is see it.

But there are so many karmas and everything feels like it has been going on forever. A certain soul mood of nostalgia laced with regrets. The backward gaze cannot quite be shaken off, for mighty things have happened. And as you ruminate upon all of it, you deeply, inwardly decide slowly and gradually your future and much about a larger future.

With the keynote being whether you can come to a true affirmation of this earth process and journey, or whether instead you subtly curse or scorn what you are reviewing, simply because it is all too much, and it is so tempting to put it down or in its place, and to feel superior in a way that blights the future. Burning through the restrictions of the day. Taking on and transmuting the world of ordinary consciousness.

Inwardly erupting with all that it leaves out, you become a conduit for the suppressed, the repressed, and the denied facets of self and life. Exposing yourself to the onslaught of conventional ideas and their consequences. Aching and longing to turn the world around, you are given to subtle or obvious ways to channel and express what lives inside, you feel intensively committed to bringing it all together within the ordinary compass of everyday life. Saturated with deep impressions of what this Earth is moving through, you are being given the chance to stand in for that--to bring it, and perhaps even to become it.

Out of phase with the personal ego-mind, in phase with the greater laws, you are absolutely forced to stay put, to sit tight, to watch and listen and say and do as little as possible. A fair witness to what is happening all around, with no personal vantage point. Being a truth vessel--perfectly designed to hold the truth and nothing but. Uncomprehending of perversity and corruption, and naive to all radical distortion, but you are surpassingly aware of what is good and what is true and of the ways in which the greater laws are being played out in this world.

Gifted in observing and appreciating how the Divine Will prevails, how the light penetrates the darkness. Simply there to be with the constructive and the upbuilding energies and forces. The pure idealist in the perfect position to be strictly transparent. Painstaking labors in several different planes of existence.

The mind being restrung slowly and systematically and by erosion of what was assumed or taken as a given. Multiple worlds crying out for refinement, repair, repolarization, and release. The most sensitized and self-conscious and fine-tuned way of being imaginable. Attending to subtle, underlying echoes and resonances.

Existing in a void or parallel world or altered state; doorkeeper between the worlds in an unlikely form. But inside the spiral, there lives a knowingness and a beingness in tune with Earth and Heaven, and it is rhythmicallysynchronized with the ancient and the future, the forgotten and the unknown. Just there, to be with the transition, and stay in touch throughout. Trying exceedingly hard to fit perfectly within prescribed standards and the attitudes and values that are traditional or conventional.

Intent on memorizing each gesture, every turn of phrase. You are almost hysterically straight and narrow outwardly in juxtaposition to how you really see, feel, and respond to things. Inside there is quavering, an intensely alive and overwhelmingly primal life-force generator. But any way you try to put it forth is troubling. There is no place for utterly other, totally maverick spirits in the midst of ordinary life.

So you engage in a thousand disguises, try absolutely everything, ultimately ending up forced to be transparent, direct, throbbingly real, and so ardently sincere that it becomes just the way you are. And you need to be part-of-the-mix as the ingredient we all need, so that the Earth comes through and speaks and dances and reminds the others that they too are surpassingly strange.

The mind of death always knows ahead of time each and every danger, problem, and dilemma. The Cassandra complex warning self and world of what will go wrong. Cautioning, tempering, and suppressing, you can afford no mistakes. The mind is set upon doing it just right from start to finish. When there are hitches and snags, you hit the roof with qualms and doubts. The self against itself.

The mind standing over the spontaneous one and saying, "No, you can't go that way. The self proves itself right and wrong. Right about nothing working, and wrong to be in that position. This is a mind-set to be eroded and worn out, supplanted by fresh inquiry with no agenda, no worry, and just the truth that there is death in everything and life to follow if you let go into it completely. Containing within yourself a vast creative force that can fill the world with its diverse and multiplex awareness.

You have a graphic ability to evoke, to capture, to epitomize a realm, a world, to draw it forth, to highlight it. And this then extends into many others, such that the illumination, the fresh angle is sharply relevant and universally resonant. Experiencing for yourself the wisdom of the ages, proving it out afresh by experimentation and open discovery.

Piercing to the core with your fluent presence in this world. Saying in so many different ways "Here it is, here it is again. I have found it over here"--the living proof that nature is totally alive, that the creative power is everywhere, and that all of it yearns to be given voice, to be celebrated, to be acknowledged by one who can reach to the vasts and penetrate to the details and make macrocosm and microcosm one. Reflexive mirroring of self by world and world by self. You are forced to confront yourself everywhere.

Starkly compelled to deal with karmas of the past returned: Conflict, strife, tension, and pressure. Mischief and the unexpected. Agreeing to meet yourself through others and to find intimate reverberations from every side. You have an overwhelming experience of running into the consequences for even what you thought--a wrap-around world of breakthroughs, quandaries, alliances and dangers. On red alert twenty-five hours a day, knowing that you cannot turn your back on threat or opportunity.

Everything is obvious and supersubtle, gross and elusive, tightly known and vastly beyond conception. The mind is a hilarious thing. It populates the world with its many ideas on top of what is there and then can no longer see things in themselves in their pristine light. We trade direct experience for a culturally rich consciousness. This mental set is marvelously intricate and detailed.

Technologies

Becoming conversant with the human sphere takes up all your time and energy, drawing you ever further into complexity, multiplicity, and appreciation for the beauty and the brilliance of the best in culture and civilization. The refinements and elaborations are infinite in scope. You become an expert, a central force, an adept in working the mind's magic.

In the largest picture, this is a perfecting of human intelligence in its concrete, penetrating power, combined with its far-ranging spread into variety and universal brotherhood. It remains narrow-spectrum, rational throughout, but does this up the best it can be done and a little bit better. Jammed tight with concepts. Thinking about what you are doing. Interpretations, evaluations, opinions, and surmises.

Believing in progress, bent upon success. You strictly, rigidly carry out what the mind dictates, a form of ignorance that is very clever. Something missing in the soul. Compensations on top of compensations.


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Exceedingly busy, hyper, with plans, projects, and enterprises. You are very good at achieving results.

YoonOk Kim (Author of My Soul Within the Soil)

Riveted to the phenomena. But prone to casting shadows that come back to haunt. Shortsighted and hooked into what is convenient and pragmatic, perfect in small outer things--all of existence becomes small outer things. Turning yourself into an object of common use, you literally and mentally take on the maintenance and the minor and the mediocre to keep the outer mind preoccupied. Meanwhile, deeper inside you are far elsewhere. By being efficient, productive, helpful, and exemplary in outward behavior you make very sure to throw everyone off track and keep your world at bay.

The inner one is connecting with worlds that are best spared curious prying. The innocuousness and the miscellaneous doing-good are laid on thick. The inner life burns with so many possibilities, each one of which is nursed along, keeping the flame alive. Even though the maidenly outer one is so good at pretending that there is nobody here but we good people, doing our best to keep everything going neatly and splendidly. Innocence has its ways to persist. You can grow up, yet retain the stance of the novice, the beginner, the wonder-worker.

You foster a knack of renewing your original, basic values and way of being at every critical juncture--a quality unique and unmistakable. At any age and within all situations, coming at things as though we all just got here and we are simply trying things on for size. The best of this quality is a sticking to prenatal resolves of a lofty integrity that refuses steadfastly to fall under the weight of the critical mind.

The worst of this quality is that in its zeal, its dedication, and its self- insistency, it invariably puts others to shame and generates in others the self-consciousness and self-judgement you are yourself bypassing. Therefore, what is good for yourself proves to be bad for others, and results in a quandary, a confusing and puzzling situation, eventually impelling you to add one borrowed ingredient: Searching for clues, you probe the straight line and the intricate curve, tapping the mind's powers for intricate operations.

Prone to find the pathological, the destructive, and the inverted, the bloodhound sleuth checking everything out everywhere. Curious, fascinated, alive with speculations, hunches, notions. Wanting to track something down, to get resolution. Needing to know, poking about in the dark. You possess remarkable senses and an almost purely telepathic mind, tremendously skilled and adroit. But you can get poisoned by skepticisms and by too heavy an exposure to the dark underbelly of things.

Desperate to learn how to also accept and embrace all that is, unconditionally, to let go into rightfulness and goodness in the very thick of things being rotten and pervasively wrong. Peppery, fiery, contentious, and spoiling for a fight. Born ready, shot from a cannon, one of a kind--volatile in the far extreme. Taking sides, even inventing them, you are impelled by the polarized consciousness to be so fiercely partisan that the destructive overwhelms the constructive. Incited to riot by what is wrong with the world--not reconciled, not accepting, not at peace.

In perfect moments, ebullient and magnificent and the most charming a being can be, much of the time you are feuding and bickering and blindly consumed by the lower mind. Keenly good at self-deception, the world's best at blind self-fidelity. The perfect promoter of the unpopular cause. But you feel tormented by the way in which all of this perpetuates itself and cannot find freedom.

You search for a way through, hungry for self-overcoming, and needing so badly to emerge from the thicket of the mind, to be affirmative of existence with no doubts making the world intolerable to sit in one more moment. Set in place, the die is cast--the past determines the future. Held within patterns and syndromes of the habitual and the pragmatic--literalistically identified within strictly severe frameworks.

You are at the mercy of conditionings and programmings, and chronically mentally obstructive, up against the grind of the outer mind droning onward. Radically non-creative, noninnovative, you follow the party line. Waiting until the loss of real direction has played itself out endlessly, and hoping that a different phase altogether will knock you over the head and pull you onward from this dead end. Aristocracy takes many forms. Whether by karmic predisposition or by bloodline or both, being granted the ultimate pedigree for serving effectively. Those who have ruled can serve. Those who have mastered can give themselves over.

Those who have attained can extract the essence of what they have come to before and utterly discard the rest. Filled to overflowing with the streams of your background, you are yet definitely motivated to use all this as a springboard and not to lean back on it. You feel the impulse to renew gifts, treasures and mysteries--to revitalize the old streams, to make relevant and essential what has previously proven to be steady and enduring.

And most of all, endowed with a fluency in drawing from the well something fresh and new, and being so at home in bringing it all through that you become an individual here in the midst of things, who just happens to know and be familiar with just about anything you need to access from the well that never runs dry. The mind profoundly divided between the supremely constructive and upbuilding, and the radically destructive and fragmenting.

The intention is to gather the best, to do the right thing, to be exemplary. But somewhere along the line this energy runs out, and there slips in its shadow which runs wild. Creating your own troubles, cleaning up after yourself. Being at the mercy of a fatal dualism that splits you terribly, the plight and dilemma of one who has wandered into the territory of tempting forces. Consciously blameless and innocuous; subconsciously charged with mischief and mayhem.

And the hardest part is that it feels too late to turn this around. As you experience the fatalistic notion that this is just the way it is, you have arrived at the center of the temptation, and must learn the art of radical letting go. Internal dialogue in which self and world are constantly discovering where they stand with each other.

Having no pretense or guile. Speaking to each one in the way you speak to yourself, in the way you speak to everything. No rituals, no ceremony, no special cases. Unvarnished honesty and truth. Intent on getting at what is underneath, what is inside. You penetrate right through the personality, the ego-mind, without thinking about it.

Knowing that life needs a voice and that being that voice is natural and inevitable. You feel close to the ground, basic, and foundational. Not very nice, not very easy-going. The pure straight-shooter, as real as can be, and almost too much so. You are the reminder of how it would be if we stayed with integrity and conviction and threw out the rest. Seeing through the eyes of anybody, everybody, all worlds together, all worlds differentiated sharply, you are able to switch perspective from the personal vantage point to any conceivable other.

Drawn to extend the range of perception and the worldview to encompass what it looks like from the inside of each and every one.

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Clairvoyant, telepathic, and mythically potent with the power of story. Keenly guided to unfold consciousness into its evolutionary potential. You are thoroughly convinced that if all sides can be respected, honored, and lived into, interpersonal dynamics will naturally work out optimally.

And you feel ultimately transported by an affirmative life-giving perspective to open doors and make this world a brighter place, with simple, straightforward brush strokes of cosmic common sense. Big things and little things trade places. Big things become off screen, too demanding and formidable, oppressive. Little things become unquenchably full of life and there to be entered upon with passionate conviction. Little things proliferate wildly.

Soon they are everywhere, clamoring, yearning, asking for attention and energy.

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Each little thing grows very big--incarnation, embodiment. Coming to the brink of immense commitment into the earth, you have a craft, a fine touch of beholding, witnessing, and responding to each facet of life unto itself. The most rigorous of paths--to be there into the details. Will and mind become one, a discipline, a harnessing that is magnificent and very hard to accomplish. Yet you recognize that this is what remains to be done, to light up the jewels of life and let them arise everywhere.

The overshooting of the mark happens when the little mind and the greater mind become warped in their relativities. Proportion tumbles before pregnant magnitude. Everything is sprinkled with archetypal overtones. Perfect meaning arises here when the truth is the yardstick and you simply align yourself with the truth in a nondogmatic fashion. The spirit of discovery becomes the spur. The unknown makes the known precious and poignant. You finally get it right that every microcosmic situation is a jewel in the making, and only needs to be appreciated and boosted by faithful beholding.

The passage is from thinking about it to becoming at home within the path of bringing all worlds together, just as the occasion makes possible, with a light touch and an easy grasp of the reins. So much to be done. So many fragments to move with. The one inside is calm and quiet, poised and accepting, knows what shall be. The one outside is frantic with events and experiences which do not add up. Severe conditions to test the soul and give the mind quite a scare. The process is to keep going into it a little further, despite yourself, and to keep losing who you thought you were in the bargain.

But there is somebody to be when there is nobody left to be, and only then. Always telling the same story in variations--autobiography. So much to say, such a lineage to articulate and reveal. Being brilliantly tuned in to every nuance of your own superfine sensibility and not missing a stitch. Eerily intent upon staying on course and witnessing how it is done, why it is done, with dispassionate gaze. Selected by destiny to be the one to exemplify the way it should be done. Willing and able to do this forever and do nothing else.

So straight and narrow that it becomes idiosyncratic and Self-referential. The name of the game is to call the shots, to stay on top of the situation and to tap every level of intelligence to make your way purely and precisely where you were intended to be, in the master plan being followed utterly. Knowing beyond knowing what is real and what counts. Commonsensical, good, and true. Containing so much knowledge and wisdom that you bear the record of all that is worthwhile in human evolution.

Fascinating and extraordinary insights, realizations, and observations--an independent way of seeing. Integrity and conviction, sterling and impressing--a perfect grasp of essentials. Dedication to holding faithful to the earth and her ways. You have an almost abrasive style of sticking to your guns and making it clear what is correct and furthering and what is not.

Tremendous mentality demanding self-command to harness and make effective and helpful. Psychically in tune with the collective and assigned the task of maintaining a vigil of collective awareness, you are sent to outposts to stay tuned and partake in the universal communications network. Singularly devoid of self-drive. Immensely far removed from the usual territory of the mind, you have been granted the opportunity to serve and to suffer.

And seeking and searching for ways for everybody to reconnect. Wishing and yearning for the world to be at peace and for people to understand each other, you contribute constructively. Consecrated, mystical, and right there on the inside of life, you wait timelessly for all good things to come in their season. Knowing who you are, with your own greater self right there standing above you, showing you the way. Impressing the mark of advanced selfhood upon everything in sight, you are clear as a bell that you must hold true to your nature.

This life's journey is sensed as a true biography, a story for the ages which completes itself and comes back to the beginning at the next octave. Knowing beyond knowing the nature of the quest, and being especially aware of the how of each little step to pass this on. It is a delicate matter to know this much. Many who attain this point will employ their conscious mind to cover all this up and generate a busy outer facade. However, the substantive attunement to the mysteries cannot be missed by any angel, and suggests that this is a culminating and a consummate way of being which speaks from the vital center and is there beyond all attempts to throw it off.

Getting your bearings, determining your limits, finding a reality fix. Making sure that everything is there; checking out the manifest details over and again. Coming down to earth and becoming sober and straight and clear. You are overwhelmingly convinced that there must come this cleaning-up and clearing-up. Sick and tired of pretense and hype, hungry to get down to basics, and somewhat hooked on the quantitative intelligence.

Intent upon being viable, correct, and self-sufficient. If all these things are taken up with a twinkle of humor, they are digestible. But if they become self-serious and a little too proper, they are deadly and sickening. You learn to throw off the attitude and to cleave to the substance of getting things right, unapologetically and steadfastly. He has no sex organs. We bear a dream within us. In that dream, we can magically disperse every partisan consideration and make the truth a commonsensically shareable thing.

We endow that dream with more of ourselves than any outwardly existing realities. Slowly we foster its seeds. There just must be a way to find the common point, to no longer be jerked around by gender politics and all the other antibrotherhood, antisisterhood currents. So we endow the dream with our heart's aspirations, and when we give our all to it, the dream comes true. The mind is a funny thing. It pours over experience with a fine tooth comb, yet only sees what it expected to see. The mind programs itself, indoctrinates itself thoroughly and intensively in the fine art of imposing the familiar and the assumed upon all of life.

This is a maddening way to operate, yet it does not register as being so. Instead you like it this way, prefer it, advocate it, simply because it is self-reinforcing and self-perpetuating. You are after elaborate confirmations and validations that the little self is perfectly splendid just as it is. And you will be sure to get these. The transaction is guaranteed. But there is an unknown self who cannot breathe in this atmosphere, and who knocks at the door seeking entry and is not very pleased to be tuned out and pushed away and told that we are fine as we are and do not need to be stirred up by the voice of the rest of existence.

Within the delicate, formative stages of major departures into the unknown, there is encountered an extraordinary task and lesson that detains you a long while. It becomes self-evident that it is everything that comes before that makes the difference. There must be a fully attuned, magical sensibility to make the future possible. Coming to this requires arduous discipline and elaborate ritual, internal initiation. This becomes such a labyrinth of discipleship and apprenticeship that you wander through the maze discovering everything you ever needed to know.

All is played out within. There is no need to make anything happen on the outer. You are assigned to empty yourself out, to strip everything away, to become invisible. And if you excel at your craft, so many ventures and initiatives will be seeded, that this inner planes total mobilization will prove to be more fruitful and productive than any premature thrusts of outer mind, no matter how impressive or seemingly necessary.

The entire path lies well within, and needs no surface success to substantiate itself. If you learn to stand back and be within the greater archetypal motions, you find yourself being placed in perfect strategic positions, in exquisitely rightful initiations and assignments. The transparency of things is superlative to behold. You are called to serve the highest, to respect and honor all manifestations, to be there for everybody.

Interior steadfastness and implacability; knowing the law, the code, the way. Magnificent in applying vaster awareness to life's particular, detailed variations on the theme of how everything fits together perfectly and is woven by divine design. The fine tuned sensibility of the master craftsman, particularly adept in staying modest, unadorned and straight on. It is the exemplar of the way it is done when you know who you are and how things are around here, and when you see it coming through in every jewelled detail with little lost in the translation.

Vividly attached to your own personal limitations, idiosyncrasies, and karmic backlog, you are identified within the strict circle of familiar difficulties, dilemmas, issues, and problems. Habituated to a thick atmosphere of being surrounded and enveloped by all the places you have hung out forever.

Immobilized in your will and truly feeling incapable of overthrowing the past. You feel chaotically fascinated by and deeply saturated in patterns, syndromes, and subconscious escapes. Yet in the fiery midst of this very enchantment, you can go free if you inwardly come to a place where all the old spells no longer work and your resurgent spirit simply refuses to confound itself any further.

A vast multiplicity of vantage points, ways of being, complete identities. Fabulously suggestible and impressionable. Fanning out in all directions, becoming one with everything. Desiring and needing to bring forth each self you have ever been, every fancy you are filled with, you are impetuous, outrageous, and irrepressible.

Freedom at all costs. A great difficulty in holding steady, perpetual adolescent rebellion, and the magnificent ability to become absolutely anything. Your deepest need is to embrace your astounding nature and let it be free, despite all signs to the contrary. Enlightenment rarely comes by pursuing straight lines, by following predictable tracks. If you wish to find the secrets to the mysteries, you must give yourself over completely to the flux and to the ferment, and allow the winds of destiny to prevail entirely.

This immediate sense world casts a very different glow than the heavens ever could. By identifying yourself with each shifting nuance, every flicker of instantaneous movement, you find the inner worlds way to waking up here in this Earth. But this journey is a perilous one, for you become awash in so many far-flung spheres, and there is no map and there are no shortcuts. You must somehow see right through your own most addictive and compulsive impulses, and ride the wild waves homeward through sheer presence of mind and gut conviction that everywhere leads to the same place.

And that if you find yourself cast into any corner of fate it is the one perfect place to get home free within, if you can hang on and let go and never lose your sense of humor. Seeking your own reflection. Willing to go to any lengths to divest yourself of that which stands between yourself and your world. Seeking a path, a practice, a journey from an insulated way of life to a vitally engaged way of life, but hung up at the point of giving yourself completely over. Stalling for time, reaching for excuses, pulling in escapes and perpetuations of the status quo, you linger on the brink between one world and another.

Propelled forward, but equally jerked backward. Destiny shall assert itself in a forward direction at the right time. And before that happens the drama of "will he, won't he? Being mesmerized by your own triple reflection. Casting a huge chunk of your own soul back into the dim past, casting another chunk of your soul into the remote future, and enshrouding the present time chunk of your soul in layer after layer of obscurity and evasiveness.

Living simultaneously in past, present, and future, but with all three time frequencies held away. Therefore, to a fantastic extent, you live inside the subconscious mind with virtually no conscious outlet. Down inside there something extraordinary is happening. Free from the glare of any form of overt reflection you are gestating, healing, and making yourself ready for the infinite unknown to pop or hatch. Intensive seething forces of dreaming into the void, the great abyss. And while knocked out of outer commission, liberated to conceive the inconceivable and to renew your tangled and damaged roots in the old wise woman way that never ages and always works.

To delight in pursuit is never to get there, but to enjoy the ride all the way.

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To identify with flight is to run from what is dense and heavy and to deny the pain of Earth. And to dream of a personal limitlessness is to stay out of realities that bind. The longing and the craving, the fantasy and the vision are everything here. And as you perpetuate illusions you feel no pain. Somewhere you are convinced that the very best thing is to be free, and that to fall for linear progression is to be a fool. Everything you know and follow is true in worlds beyond, and false in the dense immediacy of Earth experience. Knows what's going on.

Virtually psychic ability to follow inner subtle tracks. You are accustomed to the dark. At home in the margins, living upon scraps and notions, following a hunch--you are full of superstitions, idiosyncratic and cranky. Given over to an on-the-edge world that hugs twilight. Essentially neither this nor that. Independent, anarchic, and full of surprises. Resilient, tough, strong, and enduring, but self-obstructive, and prone to a form of trance which attracts astral entities and may lose the path in the mists.

The Earth is not visible. When chaos joins forces with hard and heavy dense frequencies, we are in for an exceedingly difficult journey. The feeling level is depressive and anguish-susceptible. The energies are chaotic and almost random. The result is an undercurrent, an undertow that is vicious. All seems hopeless--the situation contains no relief in sight. In the thick of this dilemma, a momentum toward the future is being seeded in one of two directions. Either you are condemning yourself to grim and forbidding territory as a form of self-punishment for being so far off, or you are preparing the way for a change of heart toward compassion and forgiveness, even for your own greatest weaknesses.

It all depends upon whether you can allow in a spiritual light of redemption for the worst. Or whether instead your mind is made up, and another round of no nourishment at all is in order for the one who is lost and now has no way back. That is, until you let the light in to this terrible darkness and radically relent from your judgmental stance. He is dressed in leaves. Playful, exuberant, spontaneous, and elusive, you are restless under constraint, with all of civilization representing constraint. Desperate to be free. When not held down, you have spectacular abilities and affinities.

But when bound by time, you become abrasive and provoking. Temperamental in extreme ways. Aching for free movement in a vast territory. Drawn to every extreme that exists. The body and soul of one who can never be identified, tamed, narrowed.

You are the one who knows how the deep Earth is surging with volatile currents, and these bear all hope and promise if they are followed with open arms. The one who shows everybody what life is like when it lets itself go and contagiously ripples with permission and encouragement for each and all to come out and play and explore the far edges, and even perhaps over those edges into the greater wilderness. Claiming the allegiance of those whose wildness is no passing whim, but the only viable way.

Bedazzled by the lights, intoxicated with the display, amazed and stunned by the spectacle. You are your own audience, your own accompanist, your own shadow-catcher. Prone to excess in all things, in a release of spirits unending. Becoming roles, worlds, ways of presenting self. Taking karmic episodes of the past and replaying them in another variation. Given over to the senses, body-charged, chaotic, and commanding. Taking life through all its shifts and nuances with easy and spectacular capacity, you feel somewhat at the mercy of the shadow that comes back to haunt.

Effortless grace and subtle burnout. For there is more than this, and it will not come unless this does consume itself, and makes way for the unknown as the only place to go when the excitement wears off. Everything seems equal to everything else. Life coming in at such an angle of perception that it always leads to the same places. What goes around comes around.

Characteristic observations, pet phrases, cliches, truisms. Becoming aware that everything makes perfect sense, that it all fits together as naturally as can be and that all you have to do is pay attention. There is a second, deeper lesson--elusive and baffling--that may ultimately prove to be centered around "Who is the observer, and what is that special ingredient they put in there that makes everything so self-evident? Waiting for fullness and ripeness.

Outliving old stuck patterns by slowly wearing them out. You experience lessons in humility and simplicity. An extravagant streak which relents only after relentless pressure. You have an attachment to personal inclination of the most stubborn kind, and yet a desperate drive to get beyond the shadows. Interior dialogue and dispute. The slow burning way. And allowing pride to surrender without being made wrong. Elaborate maneuvers toward significant breakthrough. Death manifests among the living in myriad forms and guises. It is unforgettable in its imprint. Those who are drawn to get close to death and to get involved with it have their own set of challenges accordingly.

Will they get wrapped up in the lesser levels of death and turn into habitual trapped creatures, or will they extend the range of their affinity and their allegiance to encompass the redemptive and the regenerative aspects of death? Being magnetized to relive previous deaths, to learn the ways of death and to fathom its mysteries, and being able to move among many sides of this equation. But ultimately drawn either to indulge the regressive loop of being in circles of recurrence, swept away, or to open up the space tremendously--to collaborate with the lively ones among the dead, and to discover that in their world, which is scooped out in that exquisite sensibility through which the lively dead see this world, they celebrate its free becoming more fully than anybody else would be able to approach in that sparkling way.

Deposited in the jungle, the pit, the open sewer; exposed mercilessly to the worst chaos, multiplicity, and darkness the world has to offer. Toughened, seasoned, tempered under duress. Forced to get it. Magnetizing the collective crises and subcurrents can give you a crash course in what has happened to the world and what must be done about it. You feel especially keenly pulled to participate in situations where anything goes and you must live by your wits or else. This is the fast, hard way to get a refresher course in the tortures and the plagues, in order to come up with solutions and alternatives of the most avid, incisive, and irresistible kind.

The momentum of collective events runs toward floodtide when there is a major transition from one whole cycle to another. The personal lifestream runs in similar patterns. When you're getting ready to take off in a whole different direction, there is first a transition that is both immensely exciting and fantastically disturbing. You feel just about swept away by the oncoming changes and just before they really get going, the tension, the pressure, and the strain can tear you apart.

You want to go with it, yet you yearn for sanctuary. This keen ambivalence gets loaded with desire, anticipation, memory pictures, and utopian visions. The mix is volatile. Learning how to ride this wave is such a great endeavor that it, in itself, becomes what it is all about. The consummate opportunity to open wide, but stay substantively firm and concentrated.

The infinite future or wipe-out. A spine-tingler all the way. Resiliency to keep finding a way to do it, to keep discovering how to get through the deepest quandaries, the greatest karmic traps. Paying attention to the cues, going to get it right. You're involved within a path which requires discipleship or apprenticeship, learning the ropes.

Building up fresh capacity in this lifetime to scale the heights. But you remain preoccupied and absorbed within honest tasks. A pervasive conviction grows and forms, of how it really is. You're willing to take every step to reach a far goal, and attentive to what is really there. A throwback to the old ways of a rural past. Oddly comfortable in adopting forms and moving through phases and taking on the worlds.

The journeyman learns the ways of the journey and gathers Earth wisdom in small bundles. Knowing how to be there when it counts. Playing with roles, masks, and the tricky side of life, you simulate whichever facet will optimize the situation. You're permitted great latitude in improvising and going off on tangents. Becoming constructively chaotic, harnessing the forces of the collective madness. Ingenious and witty and bright. Devoid of substance, virtually pure image. Having fun, and trying things on for size.

Slipping in and slipping out. You are also empowered from within to throw off all solemnities, and to free up situations whichever way it will work, without moral standards to inhibit the free flow of inventive enthusiasms. Protection, guidance, grace dispensation. Offered a way to move right through the middle of life's labyrinths and stay straight on.

Your innate sanctity preserves you against the play of the opposites, you stay singular, straightforward. Throwing off complications and conundrums, you stick with what is sweet and eternal. Most essentially, you wear a cloak of innocence, a tightly fitting garment of unworldliness. And as you pass for a fortunate and blessed soul, it all turns out to be true.

Poisons, toxins, the refuse of what is incomplete create a stink and a sensation. It is horrible to be rotting away in the wrong place at the wrong time. And it is worse for everybody to know it and nobody to be able to do anything about it. Each and every inward distortion magnifies itself and takes over the situation. You are getting a great chance to behold every old syndrome played back everywhere.

And if you can forgive and move on, all of it will be more than worth it, no matter how sickening it felt at the time. The accustomed round of events is a set-up, and a springboard into what we hope to find when we search and strive. The basic circle of common experience is the indispensable container for miracles to be born. The ongoing continuum of life takes through itself the innovative and the visionary, and offers the arena for the action to reach across to everybody. The ordinary is ecstatic with promise, fertile with worlds beyond.

And almost all of it makes itself felt, gently and intrinsically. Enhancing all budding possibilities, and prophetic of a new Earth to be inhabited every day in full sense-embrace, is ravishingly part of the mix. X marks the spot. Plugged in to universal currents of energy and awareness. You listen and look toward the collective, universal voice and resonance, pervasively sensing how the inner worlds synchronize with the outer worlds. A magical, shamanic realm in all respects, working from the sacred circle and the cone of light.

Alchemical transmutation from state to state and world to world. In touch with the borderline, hugging the edges. You feel especially keen to taste and feel what needs to happen, what wants to arise, tapping the pulse of the times and speaking for all of those who stay tuned in for further developments. Darkness seeks release by the right vessel, at the right time, in the right place. You must be able to contain the darkness and to form it into an exquisitely sculpted-out seething chaos, and then discover your willingness and ability to reverse field, to give over the very thing you took as your own.

This comes the hard way, by enduring the ravages of living in a volatile chaos almost as victim and then seizing command of your own vessel. Until you do it, the darkness leaks out around the edges and fosters the worst all around. Usually, triggering so much subtle destruction and indulgence in the negative brings you up short, and triggers the final reckoning and the huge release, sending darkness on its way and opening a space for light to flood through and start a new cycle, where the old had seemed to be decadent and established for the duration.

Methodology, technique, the how of things. Immersing yourself in the field of new ideas, fresh approaches, and innovative paths, imaginatively and energetically. Exposing yourself to possibilities, visions, ways to evolve. The body's wisdom musically in touch and in tune, sensing the resonance of cellular awakening. Eager and enthusiastic and bright, you have given over to the process. Seizing upon opportunities, challenges, openings.

Needing to know just how it feels at the micro levels. What is it like to be free, to be joyous, to be unrestricted, here in the body, in the world? You seek the full-on motivating spark of knowing what it feels like to be tuned out and discovering what it really means to be tuned in all the way. The one who lives inside is awash in colors, tones, and symbolic ritual displays of an extraordinarily precise attunement to the heart and soul of ancient wisdom. You are suspended in a long-ago time. So much of your being is still back there.

The evolution of the world since the ancient times is neither acknowledged nor accommodated in any way. It all depends upon whether this exquisite gift of soul remembrance is honored or exploited. If it is exploited, which is so very tempting, the life empties out of meaning and value and becomes false and repulsive. If it is honored, the expanded faculties on tap become revitalized and find a fresh relevance. As the Divine Feminine reveals what we need to know and draws us to our utmost capacity, it is with an unfallen grace of sensing directly into the deepest parts of people and all they can become in the ancient future just ahead.

It is gradually drifting out to sea. When life is a dream, not too much of selfhood is asked for or welcome. Ancestors, previous lifetimes, collective currents feed the dream, keep it alive. The self hugs a secretive outpost of neither being with nor being against. One of the remarkable things that happens is that spirit can speak and reveal much. One of the habits which easily proliferates here is to take no responsibility for anything.

And one of the primal paths through is to drift deeper down in and to let all ego go, yet move with the soul as it is guided to each and every place it is meant to travel. Classical Maya civilization reenacted in fresh forms. Always having the Greater Sun beating down, always aware of the vaster picture. You tap a sensibility that is profound and extraordinary, the greater Gods and the human scene juxtaposed mightily. In tune with progressive evolutionary currents, you work very hard to reinstate the sacred upon the next spiral.

Tuned in to what is really happening here. An expanded space for dreaming, remembering, conceiving, visualizing, and creating. Absolutely knowing that the galactic forces are integral to every breath, and moving toward true galactic citizenship with a passion. Intimate exposure to currents, energies, and contexts which turn you inside out and upside down. Being hyper-impressionable, supersuggestible, and uncomfortably close and awkward. Nothing goes where it is supposed to. However, something entirely different is on its way. It is a matter of outlasting the fate of the past and resiliently coming back to life by surprise.

The return is orchestrated by invisible forces. You're captivated by strange old stories with an incestuous, serpentine entrapment to them, and called utterly beyond all of this. You have the capacity to release and renounce the most confounding combinations of factors, and to leap vibrantly into unknown country with barely a scratch, everything going your way. Strong, focused intent to create and stay with your own world within the world. Being flooded by collective contents and then strategically carving out a distinctive way of being with an emphasis upon eccentricity and maverick ways.

Being impelled to generate tenuous yet firm boundaries to give any hope at all of continuity and consistency. You are at an advanced and intricate crossroads in development, where you are inwardly blown wide open and outwardly desperate to forge individuality and personal life. The cosmos inundates the landscape. And the one inside the body makes endless small gestures to constitute an island reality that fools nobody and only momentarily keeps the floodtide at bay.

One more step

It is so hard to give up your fondest notions. It is so testing and trying to be asked by universal spirit to surrender your privileges, to renounce your claim upon your own life. And it is even an extreme act of self-transcendence to come to terms with the position you find yourself in as it really is. Ego-busting comes as a rude shock, even when the time is at hand to leap beyond your own shadow. The very idea draws out to the surface every resistance imaginable. The mind goes crazy with this edge.

Upcoming Events

If only you could control it, manipulate it, relativize it. But excruciating self-awareness accompanies this edge--in particular no sentimentality towards your own excuses and reasons. For you are at that point where there is no place to hide and nothing to do except surrender gracefully, when you have exhausted every other option and found them to be null and void. The design of the world-matrix entered upon, fathomed, appreciated, beheld, and entered into completely. Losing the self and finding the self.

Dancing at the edge of infinity, you are able to take up any lesson or phase with utter, rapt abandon, You've been given the chance to take personally and collectively every old karmic cycle and free it up and move onward. An arduous, consuming endeavor. The sensation of bondage and freedom as one. You feel driven to the utmost extent to become all of yourself and to be done with errant fragments.

The process is endless, yet each stroke is inspired and transcendent and blessed. For when you agree to take on what nobody can take on, you are a thousand-fold blessed and given every consideration, as you're doing the true work, letting the world-matrix breathe into spaces beyond. Teeming with mass consciousness. You feel yourself to be as anonymous and undifferentiated as you can possibly be. Hiding in this identification is comfortable, cozy, and safe, and it can be prolonged indefinitely. While you wait here with individuality suspended and all of life being right at hand, the most remarkable discoveries can take place.

In particular, you are welcomed and invited to know the ancestors, to know the collective, to know the sweep of evolution intimately and compulsively, to be swept along on the tides of time, to stay bonded and rooted in the dream plant state. It is a rapture and an abandon. Eventually it satiates itself. And then you are sprung very fresh and very new, to be free in the world, and to make the ultimate discovery of the vast difference between casting your fate to the winds and being vitally present in the moment's dawning with a celebratory fervor.

The master of disguises. Shape-changing as a whole way of life. The question of identity as a baffling mystery, a riddle of destiny. Becoming so many things, whatever feels emphatic, impressive, and in keeping with the subtle fluids of the situation, you are transported by a plastic, formative nature into realms you would never access if you were straight and simply sincere. Captured by the uncanny power of turning yourself into the perfect live model of a given way of being. Deep down inside you witness everything that happens, amazed to be getting away with it, and waiting to be unveiled in the fullness of time when the cycle is over and you must find another place to hide, unless you are finally ready to let yourself be.

Timeless soul faculties wrench free from tumultuous times and places to gaze upon the innermost with tranquil and sage otherworldliness. Drawn inside very far, into the unconscious and superconscious levels. On the surface--nothing happening, a blank. But deep inside--astounding things going on; worlds ending and beginning; tragedies, heartaches, tremendous overcomings. Customer reviews There are no customer reviews yet.

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